Life can be hard sometimes.
It throws illness, crisis, drama after drama, trauma’s compacting those drama’s and then there are those who seem lucky and manage to avoid all of that.
While it is true privledge can account for some of that, attitudes and belief systems account for more. The dominant psychology of the last 10-20 years has been CBT. Which focuses on changing the self-talk and belief systems we play in our heads everyday. The newer dominant psychology has realize that it is more then that, the power of being mindful and present can discipline the mind and help reduce the pain of the past.
We actually re-injure ourselves out of habit of the pain!
How crazy is that?
We often think about the past over and over dwelling on actions, mistakes and things we could have said, should have said. Albert Ellis, the famous pscyhologist who invented REBT called this Musterbating, all these irrational thoughts and belief systems inspire us to keep our focus on the past and it hurts. It interferes with the life you are living now.
It is like a being blindfolded and someone tripping you every way you turn. The thing is we put on the blindfold ourselves.
We try to walk up mountains backward when we constantly dwell about the past.
One of the greatest lessons my clients learn in the first few weeks of working with me is how regain their power again. Half of that inner-battle is won by simply focusing on what we really desire to change in our life without getting hung up on the past. Sure we can learn from the failures and we do, but we put a limit on how long we can complain about it. We accept it, learn from it and move on.
That dream job, dream partner, dream vacation can’t found by imagining over and over the nightmare opposite that made you want the dream to begin with.
I challenge you today. To start noticing when you are focusing on events from the past and ask yourself… Yes, and what about now?