Being happy can be hard

How Survivors Can Choose To Be Happy…when happy is  just too darn hard.

There is nothing more annoying when you are feeling depressed, sad or grieving and hearing someone tell you that you need to be happy. Long ago I struggled with PTSD, Depression and Severe Anxiety and I used to hear ‘ You need to just be happy’ all the time. My despair made others feel uncomfortable, what’s worse was that I could feel their discomfort. The problem with people telling you to be happy is they don’t tell you how. Not to mention how lonely your life is because Survivors often withhold feelings and secrets to protect others from the pain. By this nature survivors live in the past, gaurading it so it won’t hurt others while experiencing tremendous difficulties that their friends and families just don’t know how to help.

Today I am going to share with you, a survivor or the loved one of a survivor can choose to be happy no matter what you have gone through. I am going to be very honest and direct with you though…you might not feel happy right away, but you will start to feel BETTER. And better the start to ‘Happy’ !

Step 1: Embrace the reality – Some really bad stuff happened that sucks a lot and you cannot change it.

Step 2: Create some change from with-in…(exercise).

— Notice where you are breathing ( upper chest, middle of the chest or belly breath)

— Exhale all your air out and take 3 slow deep breaths into the belly and then expand out further.

— Better! Stress and trauma tend to bring our breath to the upper chest which is anxiety causing shallow and lowers your energy, it is hard to be happy when your body is just getting by on minimum air.

Step 3: Play with a new perspective….(exercise)

— Force yourself to break up your routine. e.g. go for a walk down to a coffee shop outside staring at the clouds or blue sky; go to the park and watch the animals imagining you can understand what they are saying to each other; maybe try a yoga class; try doing something you might not normally do just because.

Step 4: When you return home pull out a journal or a piece of paper and write down 10 things that you are grateful for today. (Be as creative as you want.)

Step 5: Realize that you have choice right now. You can choose to look at things in a positive way or negative way, Regardless of how you look at something the past won’t change…so why not choose the happier, or lighter way of looking at things.guard

Sometimes people say, but it’s not TRUE. And I agree with them, It is no true until it becomes true, because that is a process that happens only from choosing to take steps to get to that truth. If your car is stuck in the mud and you keep pretending its not stuck you will be even more unhappy. However if you accept it is stuck and realize that there is nothing you can do to change that by yourself right now, you are free to explore, be and maybe even make new friends.

Why should you try this?

  • Stress hormones lower your immune system…this reverses that process.
  • New perspectives stimulate various areas of the brain and the conscious sometimes providing creative solutions to our little problems we never imagined.
  • You will be doing something for you and start learning how you to heal your own life.
  • It will reduce the desire to snap at others when they try to help, because you will have more energy to understand they just don’t want to see you unhappy…even if their advice isn’t helpful.
  • Most importantly you will start to regain control of your life and start living more in the moment. In the moment is the only power we truly have to change anything.

Happiness starts by finding a new perspective, choosing to be happy means you choose to find a new perspective in life that feels better then the one you currently have. Join me Survivors, in making the world better…even when the past sucks 🙂

Choose To Be Happy